HERE’S a question guaranteed to divide all sports fans out there: who are the ‘toughest’ competitors in the world?

Rugby Union players? Rugby League stars? Tour de France cyclists? Olympic rowers? Marathon runners? Boxers?

In nearly 50 years of watching and reporting on different sports, I’ve met and interviewed people from all the above sports.

In terms of being the ‘toughest’, none of them come close to National Hunt jockeys.

Evidence that they are as tough as teak is provided daily on racecourses around the UK – with the latest example happening at our local Ffos Las track last Saturday.

Pembrokeshire’s James Bowen, who comes from a family of fearless horsemen, was the latest jockey to reflect that one second you can be sailing over a hurdle or fence at 35mph, and the next you can be face down in the mud wondering how you’ve narrowly escaped death.

Bowen is part of a long line of Welsh jockeys who have diced with death while competing at the highest level in racing.

When I was four stone lighter (and a lot younger!) I competed in showjumping with a pal from Cardigan called Hywel Davies.

Davies was a lot braver than yours truly and went on to a career in racing.

He was a national hero in Wales for his 50-1 win on Last Suspect in the 1985 Grand National, but it was a fall a few months earlier that defined his career as a ‘tough’ jockey for many horseracing fans.

Davies was riding Solid Rock at Doncaster when he came down at the final fence. He was rushed to hospital, but en route his heart stopped beating several times.

In his own words, he “died for a bit”.

With his life in the balance, he had to be resuscitated several times by a racecourse medical officer.

Amazingly, Davies recovered and was given the ride on the unfancied Last Suspect in the National. The rest is history.

Davies retired from racing in 1994 at the relatively young age of 37. He amassed a brilliant record of 761 wins over 16 years in the saddle.

People like Hywel Davies form part of a tradition of brave Welsh jockeys which so inspires the likes of James Bowen and his brother Sean, currently leading the National Hunt jockeys’ championship.

James Bowen’s remarkable Ffos Las afternoon was a real roller-coaster.

One minute he was living in fear of being kicked in the head after being trapped under a horse weighing 500kg (half a ton!). The next, he was riding a winner at the track.

Bowen was stuck under Saunton Surf after she fell at the final flight in division two of the 2m4f handicap hurdle at Ffos Las.

The aftermath of the fall provided a challenging dilemma for the vets, doctors and racecourse staff who were quickly on the scene – a jockey lying face down in the mud with his waist and legs wedged underneath a winded half-ton racehorse.

The sport prides itself on the welfare of both riders and horses, so the situation required a proper assessment of both rider and horse before attempting any sudden movements.

James, 23, told reporters later: “She (Saunton Surf) was getting very tired going to the last (hurdle) and perhaps, in hindsight, I should’ve let her get in tight and pop over, but I thought I had a chance and all jockeys have that competitive edge in them, don’t they?

“My foot got caught in the iron as she went down so I couldn’t roll off as she fell. She then rolled on top of my legs so I was stuck on my stomach underneath her.

“Ben Jones (fellow jockey) came over to give me a hand. He managed to get my foot out of the iron (the stirrup) as we were worried that she might start to struggle and I’d still be caught up. However, she was very tired and that kept her down.

“They spent quite a bit of time deciding whether they’d roll her over, or if they’d lift her up and drag me out.”

The Ffos Las team elected to sedate the Warren Greatrex-trained six-year-old mare and then figure out how to remove the rider – a decision Bowen said took some time to make as he lay under the animal.

Bowen added: “It was a no-brainer to sedate her as my head was right in the firing line of her hooves, and if she had struggled my head would’ve been a football getting a right kicking!

“I was just stuck there in the middle and they spent quite a bit of time deciding whether they’d roll her over, or if they’d lift her up and drag me out

“There were so many people trying to figure out what to do, and it did feel like it took a while to make a decision.

“In the end, they decided to lift her hind end and drag me out, which they knew they could do as the horse was okay; that was the most important thing. I could tell she was okay as we were lying there, and that helped.”

Bowen, who has ridden 60 winners this season (up to yesterday!) said his experiences as a jump jockey meant that he had learned to deal with both adversity and triumph.

After being released and assessed as being uninjured, Bowen casually walked back to the jockeys’ weighing room, where he happily explained the details of the drama to his brother Sean and dad Peter.

Some 90 minutes later (after Saunton Surf had been gently nursed back to the racecourse stables), Bowen was back in the saddle again – living proof of the old adage that says you should get back on a horse as quickly as possible after a fall.

His mount was the Greatrex-trained Keep Running. Obviously, he won!

Bowen told journalists: “It didn’t cross my mind that I wouldn’t ride in the next race. I had some pins and needles in my legs, which I guess isn’t a surprise as I had a 500kg horse on top of me, but once I was up and away I was fine.

“There are a lot of ups and downs in racing, so you take that approach to everything you do.”

Tough nuts, these jockeys!

YOU’VE probably heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true.

That’s definitely the case for Carmarthen and District Youth Opera as they prepare to stage Charlie and the Chocolate Factory next month.

The musical will be staged at The Lyric Theatre in Carmarthen from February 26 to March 1 (7.30pm), with matinee shows at 2.30pm on Thursday, February 27, and Saturday, March 1.

Tickets, price £20 (concessions £15), are now on sale and available online via https://www.theatrausirgar.co.uk, at The Lyric Box office, or by ringing 0345 2263510.

They’ve got some imagination at Carmarthen and District Youth Opera, so you can expect the spectacular from the cast and production crew.

A spokesman for the Youth Opera said: “This year will be a first for us to be using a full-scale digital screen as part of the scenery on stage.

“We are confident that everyone will enjoy our performances and interpretation while also appreciating the huge input by our young cast and our small army of adult volunteers.”

Auditions were held in September, and since then rehearsals have been held three times a week.

There are 64 cast members, but as the performance schedule is so demanding many of the principal roles will be ‘double-cast’.

The show follows the hit West End and Broadway productions to combine memorable songs from the original 1970s motion picture (The Candy Man and Pure Imagination).

For those who don’t know the story, the musical is based on the Roald Dahl tale.

It is a comedic and fantastical story following young Charlie Bucket and his Grandpa Jo as they join a small group of Golden Ticket contest winners who get to tour the magical and mysterious chocolate factory owned by the eccentric Willy Wonka.

When Charlie Bucket finds one of the five Golden Tickets to the Wonka Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the other winners can’t wait to feast on the sweets of their dreams.

But, beyond the gates, they discover more than just remarkable edible delights.

As they embark on an extraordinary journey through Willy Wonka’s marvellous mind, they soon learn that nobody leaves the same way that they arrived.

The Youth Opera spokesman added: “This is a show for all the family and for all ages, with ticket demand likely to be high.

“We want you to experience the “Charlie” environment throughout your visit to the theatre and, afterwards, leave for home having experienced its magic.

“To celebrate the magic of “Charlie”, and its storyline, we are offering a unique opportunity for you to enter a Grand Golden Ticket Prize Draw.

“Envelopes at £1 each will be on sale in the theatre foyer area before the show starts, and during the interval.

“Those lucky enough to reveal one of only 60 Golden Tickets will be entered into a prize draw that will take place after the final performance on Saturday, March 1.

“The winner will enjoy a family trip to London, including train tickets, and a two-night stay in a family room for up to four people at the Hilton Hotel, Kensington.

“There will be other prizes as well for ‘lucky envelope’ holders. The more envelopes you hold, the better your chances of a win. Mwynhewch y sioe. Enjoy the show!”

In other news, there’s a musical treat coming up at The Lyric Theatre in Carmarthen this Saturday, January 18 (7.30pm), with a special charity concert being organised by the Carmarthen Tywi Rotary Club.

The concert will feature the world-famous Cory Band and the popular Bella Voce female vocal group. The compere will be the author of this weekly column.

A spokesman for Carmarthen Tywi Rotary Club said: “This is a big chance to ring in the New Year with a dazzling performance by the Cory Band and the incredible sound of Bella Voce.

“Tickets for this concert are sure to be in great demand as the Cory Band are the current Welsh Brass Band champions. This is your chance to witness brass band music at its finest. All monies raised from the concert will go to help local charities and worthy causes.”

Tickets are £22.50 and £20 and are available from The Lyric box office or the Theatrau Sir Gar website, or by phoning 0345 2263510.

The Carmarthen Tywi Rotary spokesman added: “You can prepare to be electrified by one of the very best brass bands of the 21st Century.

“The Cory Band has won the European, British Open, National Championships of Great Britain, and Brass in Concert titles on many occasions and for an unprecedented 16 years (from 2007 to 2023) the Cory Band was the world’s No1 ranked band.

“Experience their magic first hand as they perform their latest scintillating, entertaining and engaging repertoire, which will appeal to all musical tastes and all ages.”

Originally known as Ton Temperance, the band was formed in 1884. In 1895, Sir Clifford Cory, the local colliery owner, offered financial assistance, resulting in the band’s name change to Cory.

Since 2012, the band has been conducted by Philip Harper, winning numerous European, National, Brass in Concert, and British Open titles. The band has also toured Australia, the USA, and South Korea, and won the inaugural winner of TV Channel S4C’s Band Cymru programme.

Aside from their impressive competition history, the Cory Band has also made significant strides musically. The band was appointed as the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama’s resident ensemble in 2000. Cory Band is proud performing artist for Besson Musical Instruments and Rath Trombones.

The Cory Band is dedicated to new music, raising the profile of the brass band genre, and keeping music alive in Wales. The band’s current ‘Composer in Residence’ is Christopher Bond.

The band’s numerous CD recordings and live concert performances have received worldwide acclaim. In 2022, the band was awarded The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service for their dedicated work within the Brass Band movement, further cementing their status as one of the finest and most innovative music ensembles in Wales.

Vocal group Bella Voce are based in Pembrokeshire and led by musical director Sarah Benbow and accompanist Seimon Morris.

Bella Voce is made up of busy, professional women who have a deep and rich musical heritage, which includes 27 grade 8s and multiple music degrees.

IS it time to reintroduce National Service in the UK? Is it time to change the working week to four days?

Those were among the topics debated in the annual Llanelli Rotary Club Youth Speaks competition held at St John Lloyd Roman Catholic School.

The annual competition saw teams from St John Lloyd, Bryngwyn and Coedcae schools go head-to-head in the bid to get through to the next area round of the competition.

The Youth Speaks competition, which culminates in a national UK final, is designed to build confidence and teamwork in teenage school pupils.

The Youth Speaks platform recognises that it is becoming increasingly important for young people to present their balanced thoughts and views in a professional and articulate way.

In an age when everything seems to revolve around taps and swipes on mobile phones, it makes a refreshing change to see youngsters stand up and express their views before an audience.

“The quality of the arguments presented was outstanding and the children taking part reflected great credit on their schools, teachers and families,” said the chairman of the Llanelli Youth Speaks judging panel Lt Colonel David Mathias.

In the junior intermediate category, the team from St John Lloyd School emerged as the winners after debating ‘Reimagining the working week: is the four-day-week the answer?’

The team members, Gabriel Campbell (chair), Steven Saji (Proposer) and Elliot Fouracre (Opposer), also won the individual awards in the category.

In the senior category, the team from St John Lloyd School also came out on top after debating ‘Reintroducing National Service in the UK’.

The team members, Taliesin Padraig Owen-Davies (chair), Sophia Lawrence (Proposer) and Katie Evans (Opposer), also won the individual awards in the category.

Runners-up in the senior category were the team from Bryngwyn, made up of Isabel Barrah (chair), Jessica Murphy (Proposer) and Natalia Rychlicka (Opposer). Their topic was ‘The death penalty should return’.

Runners-up in the junior category were the team from Coedcae, made up of Ellie Wills (chair), Katie Turner (Proposer) and Nell Jones (Opposer). Their topic was ‘Is the world becoming too much of a dangerous place for children?’

The winners in both categories go forward to an area final to be held in Carmarthen on January 30.

Senior judge Lt Col Mathias said: “The standard in the competition was exceptionally high – as it is every year – and the competitors made the judging task a very difficult one.”

Llanelli Rotary Club president Cerith Owens explained that the Youth Speaks event offered an opportunity for Llanelli pupils to gain experience of speaking on a public platform.

He said: “It allows young people to form ideas on significant subjects and learn high standards of expression, presentation and appearance. It also gives pupils the experience of accepting impartial assessments and constructive criticism.”

The competition was run to a national Rotary format, which included a question from the floor. The main speakers for each team faced the daunting task of fielding an unrehearsed question from Llanelli Rotary Club member Mike Goodfellow-Smith.

Rotary President Mr Owens added: “The youngsters coped admirably with the questions – not an easy task in front of a sizeable audience at the main hall at St John Lloyd. It was a very entertaining and thought-provoking evening with some challenging arguments being put forward by pupils who had obviously done their homework and research.”

The judging panel was – Lt Colonel David Mathias, Deputy Lord Lieutenant and distinguished military historian (chair), Rotarian Susan Roberts, a retired charity worker, and Julia Goodfellow-Smith, author and blogger.

The MC for the evening was Rotarian Past President Robert Lloyd and the timekeeper was Rotarian Richard Harries.

The event was organised by a team led by Rotarians Dr Kevin Jones and Julie Jones. Prizes were handed out by Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens.

The event was officially opened by Carmarthenshire County Council chair Cllr Handel Davies.

Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens with Rotarian Dr Kevin Jones and the winning senior team from St John Lloyd school – Taliesin Padraig Owen-Davies (chair), Katie Evans (Opposer) and Sophia Lawrence (Proposer).

Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens with Rotarian Dr Kevin Jones and the winning junior team from St John Lloyd school – Elliot Fouracre (Opposer), and Steven Saji (Proposer). Gabriel Campbell (chair) was unavailable for the photocall.

Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens with the team from Bryngwyn – Jessica Murphy (Proposer), Isabel Barrah (chair) and Natalie Rychlicka (Opposer).

Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens with the team from Coedcae – Katie Turner (Proposer), Nell Jones (Opposer) and Ellie Wills (chair).

HE’S got a name that sounds like a cheap after-shave, but his aroma is starting to seep into the atmosphere of our shores.

Which begs the question: should we be worried about Elon Musk?

It appears to be hard to ignore the richest man in the world.

Someone with a net worth of $400 billion, a place in USA President Donald Trump’s Cabinet and control of one of the world’s busiest social media platforms will probably also have the biggest megaphone in the room.

I can’t quite understand how someone who runs SpaceX, Tesla, The Boring Company and other hi-tech businesses can find the time to express his views on the X platform (Twitter, to old fogeys like me).

If you tune in to X, then there’s barely a minute that goes by without Mr Musk chipping in his views on a wide variety of topics.

Plainly, there is not enough going on his side of the pond, as Mr Musk has now decided to interfere in UK matters – younger members of the family inform me this is a ‘classic disruption technique beloved of the new generation of tech entrepreneurs’.

Mr Musk has managed (among other things) to weaponise the grooming gangs debate in the UK; pleaded with King Charles III to dissolve Parliament and call another General Election; launch personal attacks against various respected MPs, and call for Nigel Farage to be replaced as the leader of the Reform political party.

This column rarely strays into the murky world of politics, but Mr Musk’s social media rants have annoyed me so much that I feel obliged to chip in (even though I’ve resisted the temptation to ‘direct message’ Mr Musk and tell him to keep his nose out of UK matters).

The big fear for many of us here in the UK is that Mr Musk’s activities represent the development of a new right-wing social media alliance between the UK and the US.

A key pillar of such an alliance is to be controversial – often just for the sake of firing up controversy rather than the promotion of rational political arguments.

After all, controversy drives up reaction and the clicks, likes and followers so treasured by people like Mr Musk. (By the way, did I mention that he runs the X social media platform and has a stake in driving up traffic on his site?)

The new right-wing social media alliance between the UK and the US is obviously a complex and evolving phenomenon.

It highlights the power of social media to transcend geographical boundaries and may herald the arrival of new transnational political movements.

We may not like it, but I guess these new social media trends are here to stay.

Some friends of mine have voted with their feet and decided to close their social media accounts on X as they have become alarmed at ‘Toxic Twitter’.

Meta supremo Mark Zuckerberg has said this week that the company will ‘dramatically reduce censorship’ across his Facebook, Instagram and Threads brands, so what are the odds on these platforms following X in becoming toxic?

We’ll have to wait and see . . .

For now, I’ll stay on X – if only to spend some time countering some of the radical and dangerous posts on the platform.

Wish me luck: I think I’ll need it.

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YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it, is to form an argument and debate one of the following topics –

• Reimagining the working week: is the four-day week the answer?
• Should the death penalty be brought back?
• Is the world becoming too much of a dangerous place for children?
• Is it time to reintroduce National Service in the UK?

For someone who struggles between deciding between cereal and toast for breakfast, any one of those topics would be something of a test.

But, it appears, they hold no fears for young teenagers in Llanelli.

They were the topics on the table for contestants in the annual Llanelli Rotary Club Youth Speak public speaking competition.

The competition was the first stage in a national event, the winners going through to an area final in west Wales on January 30 and, potentially, district, regional and UK finals.

For those who don’t know, Rotary is an international service organisation with more than 1.2million members in 34,000 clubs in 200 countries. In the UK and Ireland, there are 53,000 members in 1,850 clubs.

The Youth Speaks idea is a simple one designed to build confidence and teamwork in teenage school pupils.

The Youth Speaks platform recognises that it is becoming increasingly important for young people to present their balanced thoughts and views in a professional and articulate way.

In an age when everything seems to revolve around taps and swipes on mobile phones, it makes a refreshing change to see youngsters stand up and express their views before an audience.

Pupils taking part in the Llanelli final this week represented Bryngwyn, Coedcae and St John Lloyd schools. And they were a credit to their teachers, mums, dads and guardians.

Teams from St John Lloyd Roman Catholic School won both the intermediate and senior categories – and all the individual awards for chair, proposer and opposer of the different motions.

The chair of judges, the Deputy Lord Lieutenant of Dyfed Lt Col David Mathias, praised all the competitors for the research into their respective topics and the professional way they presented the balanced arguments for and against the different motions.

I’m just glad Lt Col Mathias didn’t call on me to debate any of the topics. I wouldn’t have been able to compete with the talented teenagers of Llanelli!

Twenty-year-old centre Macs Page is handed his first European start for the Scarlets in Friday’s EPCR Challenge Cup round three clash with Gloucester at Kingsholm Stadium (8pm Premier Sports).

The Wales U20s cap is one of six personnel changes to the side that beat Dragons on New Year’s Day.

With Tom Rogers ruled out with a groin issue, Ioan Lloyd slots in at full-back. Blair Murray and Ellis Mee continue on the wings.

Page links up with Eddie James in a youthful midfield. Joe Roberts provides cover from the bench; Johnny Williams is absent with a foot injury.

At half-back, another home-grown young talent, Archie Hughes, gets the nod at scrum-half, partnering Wales international Sam Costelow.

The average age of the Scarlets back division is just less than 22, with Costelow the ‘senior member’ when he turns 24 on Friday.

Up front, Kemsley Mathias is recalled to the loose-head berth and packs down alongside Marnus van der Merwe and Henry Thomas.

Former Gloucester lock Alex Craig partners Max Douglas in the second row, while in the back row, Tonga international Vaea Fifita returns to the No. 8 shirt with Taine Plumtree switching to blindside flanker. Josh Macleod skippers the side.

The bench includes tight-head prop Gabe Hawley, who is set for his tournament debut

Scarlets head coach Dwayne Peel said: “Scarlets have a rich history in European competition so whenever it comes around it is always an exciting time for us and our supporters.

“Kingsholm is an awesome place to play rugby, the atmosphere is always good and we’ll have fantastic travelling support as well. This will be a brilliant experience, particularly for the younger players in the squad and an exciting opportunity for us as a group. Yes, we have been competitive this year, but going away to somewhere like Kingsholm where Gloucester have been going well of late, will be a good measure for us.”

Peel added: “We have a real competitive pool in the Challenge Cup, so picking up points is important, particularly away from home, as it always has been in Europe.”

Scarlets team to play Gloucester at Kingsholm Stadium on Friday, January 10 (8pm;  Premier Sports)

15 Ioan Lloyd; 14 Ellis Mee, 13 Macs Page, 12 Eddie James, 11 Blair Murray; 10 Sam Costelow, 9 Archie Hughes; 1 Kemsley Mathias, 2 Marnus van der Merwe, 3 Henry Thomas, 4 Alex Craig, 5 Max Douglas, 6 Taine Plumtree, 7 Josh Macleod (capt), 8 Vaea Fifita

Reps: 16 Shaun Evans, 17 Alec Hepburn, 18 Gabe Hawley, 19 Sam Lousi, 20 Jarrod Taylor, 21 Gareth Davies, 22 Joe Roberts, 23 Ioan Nicholas.

Unavailable because of injury

Tom Rogers, Johnny Williams, Ben Williams, Sam Wainwright, Dan Davis, Ryan Elias, Tomi Lewis, Harri O’Connor, Josh Morse.

YOU’RE going to have to trust me on this one – it won’t be bad luck if you read this column today . . . honest . . . promise . . . cross my heart.

Yes, it’s Friday the 13^th (only the second Friday the 13^th in the 2024 calendar).

It’s a fair bet that if you survived the one in September, you’ll manage to get through today – even if I take a little bit of delight in reminding you just how superstitious us human beings can be.

There is a medical word for the fear of Friday the 13^th.

It is paraskevidekatriaphobia – a word which just sent my spell-checker into overdrive.

The word paraskevidekatriaphobia was devised by Dr Donald Dossey, a California-based clinical psychologist who had a sideline as a folklore historian.

Dr Dossey would tell suffering patients that they had paraskevidekatriaphobia – but he would cheerfully add, “when you learn to pronounce it, you’re cured!”

As it happens, Friday the 13^th doesn’t bother me that much, but I did take the precaution of writing this column on Thursday the 12^th.

Under questioning, I will admit to certain superstitions.

For example, I won’t walk under ladders, but I will salute solitary magpies.

Welsh superstitions and folklore do remain something of a fascination and I have a little black book where I collect snippets of folk beliefs down the years.

For example, here are a few I have jotted down over the years . . .

• To see several foxes together is unlucky, but to see a lone one means that good luck will attend you.
• A greyhound with a white spot on its forehead will bring luck to the people of Gower.
• If you find the first daffodil, you will have more gold than silver that year.
• Black goats on a lonely bridle path mean that treasure is hidden.
• Money washed in clear rainwater cannot be stolen.
• If a person suffering from rheumatism creeps on hands and knees under, or through, a bramble bush three times with the sun (i.e. east to west), he will be cured.
• If you clothe your right leg first (i.e. put your right stocking on first, and your right leg in your trousers first), you will never have a toothache.
• To prevent drunkenness, take the lungs of a hog and roast them. If a man eats them after fasting all day, he will not get drunk the next day, no matter how much he drinks.
• A man with leek or garlic on him will be victorious in any fight and will suffer no wound.
• When an owl hoots among houses, a maiden will lose her chastity.
• A silver sixpence in the bride’s shoe will ensure a happy and prosperous life.
• It will bring bad luck to hang up mistletoe in the house before Christmas Eve.
• A woman who wets her apron overmuch in washing will be cursed with a drunken husband.
• A bunch of seaweed hanging in the back kitchen will keep away evil spirits.

Folklore? Superstitions? Make your own mind up.

But, if you are looking for me later today, I’m either at Billy Upton’s on Swansea Market, negotiating a price on the lungs of a hog, or I’m stuck in a bramble bush looking for a greyhound on Gower!

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WE haven’t reached the point where I am losing sleep over it, but much of my brain’s declining capacity seems to be given over to the problem of holly berries this week.

Why are holly berries a problem?

Well, the problem is there aren’t any on the tree in my garden!

And a near neighbour reports a similar problem, so is there something of a holly berry crisis this Christmas?

Our tree usually provides a bumper crop of bright red berries, producing just the sort of decorative material for festive displays. In fact, we usually end up giving away bunches of the stuff to our neighbours.

This year, neighbours will have to look elsewhere for holly to decorate their Christmas wreathes and front doors.

Holly has, of course, long been associated with winter and Christmas celebrations. The evergreen leaves symbolise eternal life, while the red berries are said to represent the blood of Christ.

Druids believed holly possessed protective qualities and brought good luck (very necessary for today, Friday the 13^th). Holly was also associated with fertility and used as a charm against evil spirits.

There’s an old wives’ tale that suggests lots of berries on a holly tree indicate the arrival of a hard winter. So, does the absence of berries mean that this winter will be mild? Time will tell.

The berry issue continually crops up during conversations with my equally berry-less neighbour (yes, we have too much time on our hands, but it’s better than discussing geopolitics and the Middle East!).

Doing the research, we have discovered that holly trees are dioecious, meaning that male and female flowers grow on separate plants. Only female holly trees produce berries.

History has established that my neighbour and I both have ‘lady’ trees, as they have been full of berries in previous years.

We have ruled out the overnight sex change theory and are now investigating the fact that there must have been a male pollinator tree nearby to provide us with a crop of red berries.

The finger of suspicion is beginning to point at a newly-arrived neighbour who may have chopped down the male pollinator, without fully appreciating the consequences.

My berry-less neighbour says she has a log of chainsaw noises coming from nearby properties (trust me, Neighbourhood Watch and PC Plod are amateurs when compared to holly tree lovers).

I think she may be taking the matter too seriously, but there may be lots of searching questions in the street in the week before Christmas when neighbours start asking for their usual bunches of festive holly!