TIME was when I was young enough (and twp enough!) to talk about making a ‘fox pass’.
As a young cub reporter, I even committed the cardinal sin of scribbling ‘fox pass’ in a news story.
My editor at the time stopped short of a sharp rap across the knuckles with a metal ‘em’ ruler, but the verbal dressing down in the newsroom was enough to make sure I got the message that a ‘fox pass’ is a ‘faux pas’.
Faux pas literally means ‘false step’ in French, and that’s a great description of what you do when you make a faux pas.
Some dictionaries describe a ‘faux pas’ as meaning a significant or embarrassing error or mistake. In other words, a blunder, a gaffe or a mistake.
In 50 years of scribbling, I’ve made several blunders.
In fact, during just the last fortnight, I’ve managed to make three. So, if you do that maths, I reckon my faux pas career tally may well be approaching the five digits mark.
My three ‘faux pas’ (if that is the correct plural of the phrase) included making an eight-year-old cry, ‘probably’ offending an international rugby player and ‘definitely’ being rude to a charity volunteer.
Let’s start with the eight-year-old.
I was wearing my compere hat for a Young Musician competition being staged at a chapel.
Before the competition started, I was doing my best to help the different competitors relax into the occasion, making sure they had enough rehearsal time and giving them a preview of the stage area.
All was going well until I escorted the eight-year-old, her mum and accompanist to the stage area. I hadn’t banked on the youngster being intimidated by the size of the auditorium and, just as I uttered the words “And this is where you will be performing”, she burst into tears.
Thankfully, mum and accompanist rescued the day and some kind words were enough to restore her composure and she went on to perform brilliantly in the competition.
Next, let’s take the international rugby player.
One of my regular duties these days is taking daughter and three-year-old grand-daughter to various soft play venues around Swansea and Llanelli.
Visiting one on the Tuesday before the Wales v South Africa game, I was sat in the ball pit, concentrating on my grand-daughter and oblivious to the chap seated nearby in a dark tracksuit.
While throwing plastic balls about, I started explaining (in a loud voice) to my daughter that I’d been offered free tickets to the Wales v South Africa game at the Principality Stadium in Cardiff.
This may not be a verbatim account of my words, but I think I said something along the lines of ‘Free tickets! You couldn’t pay me to go and see Wales now. They’re rubbish. Australia slaughtered them and South Africa are going to hammer them. I can’t be bothered to trek to Cardiff to see that rubbish.”
My daughter didn’t seem that keen on engaging on that topic of conversation.
It was only when we exited the soft play that she explained, “You do realise that you were sounding off about Wales being rubbish in front of Kieran Hardy, the Ospreys and Wales scrum-half.”
Oh dear, never mind.
I consoled myself with the thought that perhaps he hadn’t heard me.
Finally, on the faux pas front, we come to the charity volunteer.
When it comes to emails, I can scribble a world class 300-word whinge.
I am, however, sometimes pressed for time (living in a world of imminent deadlines), so I can be forgiven (I hope) for pressing the ‘reply’ button on an email rather than the ‘forward’ one.
Such actions have consequences (as those who have committed a similar faux pas can tell you). The 300-word whinge (sent to the wrong person) has now been followed by a 301-word apology.
Oh dear, never mind . . .
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KIDS today, eh? You might tut every now and again, but for every tut there’s an occasion when they leave you gobsmacked.
One such occasion was Tuesday night, when I was lucky enough to help organise a Young Chef competition for Llanelli Rotary Club at Coedcae School.
The competition was one of several events organised by Rotary nationwide to help encourage and develop creativity in young people.
The competitors were between the ages of 12 and 14 – and, boy, did they know how to get creative.
The winner served up a main course of pan fired prawn garlic and lemon risotto with a nut crumb, followed by a dessert described as ‘baked cinnamon pear burrata tower served on a bed of crunch pistachio crumb and a sprinkle of pomegranate seeds’.
The judges were Katie Duffy, resident chef at Llanelli’s Halfway Hotel, and Hamish Burns, head chef and restaurant owner at The Moathouse in Kidwelly.
After they had completed their tasting, I confess I grabbed a fork and spoon and sampled both dishes. They were, of course, delicious.
Other contestants produced inspired dishes such as ‘rich tomato and aubergine ratatouille served on a bed of spaghetti, seasoned with fresh basil’ and ‘pan-seared chicken breast in a garlic, cream and herb sauce, topped with asparagus and a thin and crisp roast potato, served with naan bread’.
Just to check the judges had made the correct decision, I did, of course, have to sample all seven mains and seven starters served up by the contestants.
My verdict? All seven youngsters are potential MasterChef competitors.
And my final thought: At the age of 14, I couldn’t boil and egg, so I remain gobsmacked with the talent displayed by the kids of today.
Photo: Llanelli Rotary Club President Cerith Owens, with Young Chef competition judges Hamish Burns and Katie Duffy, winner Jake Gilmore and runner-up Millie Woods.
