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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk

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ONE DAY, IT’LL ALL BE WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE

I’ve long suspected that so-called ‘inanimate objects’ are far from inanimate.

Either they’re an evil cabal conspiring against us to mess up our daily lives . . .

(Just like the Welsh Assembly!)

Or they have a wicked sense of humour . . .

(Unlike the Welsh Assembly!)

Just think about the number of times you’ve tripped over something in the house that wasn’t there the last time you looked.

How did it get there?

Conversely, how many times have you gone to pick something up that you definitely rememberleaving on a table, only to find it isn’t there – and, then, you eventually find it in a different place in a different room?

How did it get there?

If you need moreconvincing, how often have you walked past a door handle while wearing old clothes without incident.

But, the very firsttimeyou wear a brand new sweater or jacket you catch it on that same ‘innocent looking’ door handle, causing a tear in the material?

Ah! Now you’re starting to believe me!

But, the tables are turning – and not by themselves.

A number of Welsh people are plotting against one of the biggest, longest and heaviest inanimate objects in the country.

The Second Severn Crossing.

They’re so unhappy that it’s being re-named “The Prince Of Wales Bridge” they’re protesting and signing petitions.

They may march on Westminster, brandishing pitchforks and lighted torches.

It’s a day out. Bring sandwiches and a flask!

Frankly, from where I’m sitting, up here on the fence, it’s unimportant whatthis bridge is named.

It won’t answer when you speak to it or send you a Christmas card, because, being a metal structure built to convey vehicles from one side of the Severn to the other, it isn’t aware it has a name!

When all the hoo-hah has died down, we’ll still call it the Second Severn Crossing as we always have.

Mind you, “The Phil Evans Bridge” does have a nice ring to it.

How do I start a petition?

 

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True talent:

On Sunday, The new Selwyn Samuel Event Arena in Llanelli hosted the Welsh Factor National Final talent competition to a sell-out audience of more than 1000 people.

Again, we witnessed young talent from the heart of Wales who had worked their way up through the heats, beating strong competition in order to share the final stage with some of the best new talent Wales has to offer.

What an achievement – and an occasion that many who were there will remember for years to come.

We were entertained by dancers, a choir, singer-songwriters, duos, trios and a magician.

It would be fair to say that all 54 acts who made it through to this final heat were clear winners in my eyes.

Over the years, I have witnessed the popularity and growth of this event and am yet to see a rival match its commitment to the showcasing and development of performing arts here in Wales.

This is the platform for new talent to gain confidence and exposure, in a supportive and friendly environment.

Welsh Factor was founded by the extremely hard-working Miss Anna Marie Thomas from Neath, and mentored by her dad Gareth Thomas, who has been involved in the entertainment industry for more than 50 years.

This level of experience, together with a strong technical support team, enabled the talent on display to shine and entertain to the highest standard.

Support your local performers! You know it makes sense.

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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