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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk


As I’ve pointed out many times (and you didn’t take a blind bit of notice!), the world is getting crazier every day.

Long-held attitudes, thoughts and opinions that shaped who we are and kept our lives in some semblance of common sense order for decades are now regularly questioned by individuals we’ve never heard of before.

Having scoured their back gardens looking for bees, they stick one in their bonnets and can’t wait to complain about it.

At the same time, they tell the rest of us we’re all wrong for being out of step with their opinions.

Somehow, they’re allowed a spot on the TV news or current affairs programme to announce that they’re ‘offended’ by something that no-one has ever been offended by before in the history of the worldand demand that “Something must be done about it!”

Of course, the rest of us aren’t allowed to demand ‘Something must be done about them’, like, they shouldn’t be allowed within two miles of a TV or radio studio or a newspaper reporter who’s looking for a ‘controversial’ opinion piece, eagerly licking his pencil ready to jot down their idiotic ideas in his beer-stained notebook.

Just the other day, an extremely articulate woman was given 10 minutes of TV airtime to complain that MEN AT WORK road signs are sexistand out of place in a modern society where men and women should be accepted as equals.

I’ve always accepted that women are equal to men.

Indeed. in many aspects they’re superior.

But, on the rare occasion I’ve seen evidence of men actually at workon the motorway behind MEN AT WORK signs, there was even less evidence that women were digging up the tarmac alongside them.

I’m hoping to be on the telly soon . . .

If I can find something that offends me by then . . .


Up, up and away:

I’m writing this week’s column at 38000 feet, travelling at 550 miles per hour, heading to Los Angeles in California, America’s second biggest city.

We even have an internet connection on board.

How times have changed.

Sitting besides me is my room-mate, Phil Meeks, from Derby, who has organised the itinerary for my entire stay, in military fashion, I might add.

There is going to be very little time for relaxation on this trip.

Yes, it’s a work related trip, with an element of tension built in.

Far from glamorous, but someone has to do it.

Phil’s East Midlands accent and my South Wales accent appear to be an endless source of amusement to neighbouring passengers on the flight.

As many loyal readers and followers already know, people watching is something that I really enjoy and can be considered one of my favourite past-times; I consider myself to be quite good at it.

I’ve never been good at many things.

When I was a schoolboy, I swam for Ireland three times.

Unfortunately, I never got further than the end of the North Pier in Blackpool.

But, on this plane trip, the tables have turned and more than a few of the international passengers are discretely watching and eaves-dropping our conversations – probably not understanding a word and trying to figure out our accents.

I’m reminded that travel broadens the mind.

But, in my case, also the waistline.

Best wishes from this side of the ‘Pond’.

If I see Donald, I’ll give him everyone’s regards . . .


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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