The Pain Of Being A Super-Mega Star
Despite my considerable literary talent and comedic brilliance, my natural humility prevents me from behaving like a super-mega star.
I’m content to remain an ordinary, everyday genius.
Anyone can approach me in the street, put out their hand to shake mine and, whatever their status in society may be, I’ll treat them all equally.
I completely ignore them and walk on, loudly humming a selection from “Brigadoon” to drown out their cries of “You big-headed so and so!”
Not everyone in the public eye behaves so decently.
The papers are peppered with photos of C-listers I’ve never heard of – because I avoid reality TV & soaps – and famous stars being ‘papped’ by the paparazzi while publicly falling out with their partners . . . or just falling out of London nightclubs at four in the morning worse the wear after one lemonade shandy too many.
The Welsh ‘Pappers’ (as opposed to the ‘Mammers’ – a joke for fans of 60s California folk rock) rarely follow me around local nightspots, which is why you’ll never see pictures of me falling out of my local village hall at 8.30pm.after a heavy bingo session.
Proof that super-mega stars live in a rarified world, far removed from ours and feel entitled to behave differently, was illustrated in a news item I saw about the ‘eccentric’ behaviour of Madonna when she was rushed to the Emergency Room of an American hospital.
When a doctor asked her a series of questions to help determine what was wrong with her, rather than answer the doctordirectly, Madonna instead grandly gave her responses to her loyal PA, who, in turn, passed them on to the doctor!
Can you imagine the ludicrous conversation?
Doctor: Where exactly are you in pain?
Madonna: Tell him it’s in my lower back.
PA: She says it’s in her lower back.
Doctor: As I gently press your back, tell me where the pain is worse.
Madonna: Ouch! Tell him it’s just there!
PA: She said Ouch! It’s just there!
And so on . . .
Just one reason I’m so glad I restrained myself from becoming a super-mega star.
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Flying high and connecting!
This week’s newspaper column is being written from a British Airways aircraft, 37,000 feet in the air en-route from Vancouver to London.
We even have an internet connection to help with the research.
This certainly helps keep us occupied during a long haul 10-hour flight.
How times have changed.
In addition to this, the onboard film selection is something of a treat.
Never have I witnessed such a choice of new and old films.
My choice of film on this occasion was my old time favourite and blockbuster, ‘Laurel and Hardy’. I’ve seen it three times now.
It was a partnership that one time made them the world’s greatest comedy team.
With the golden era of Hollywood films behind them, diminished by age, the duo set out to reconnect with their adoring fans by touring variety halls in Britain in 1953.
But there were big challenges relating to health and management which gives us a true insight into the tough world of entertainment.
I must admit, I was truly moved by the story – and Steve Coogan and John C Reilly played the heroes of comedy amazingly well. Do check it out. You can thank me later!
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Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk
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