This critic’s ‘faulty’ review was a complete farce!
I couldn’t remember if Abraham Lincoln or The Chuckle Brothers first remarked “You can please some of the people all of the time; you can please all of the people some of the time; but you can’t please all of the people all of the time!”
When I checked, it was English poet John Lydgate (1370-1451) who coined that phrase – as well as “You cannot get blood out of a stone” and “Empty vessels make the most noise”.
Top bloke, John!
It’s his quote that Lincoln ‘borrowed’ years later that inspired this article.
In a café recently, I picked up a free newspaper, one that I wouldn’t usually buy, which contained a very sniffy review of the new West End stage version of the TV sitcom “Fawlty Towers”.
Yes, Basil, Sybil and Manuel all appear in the play that’s had some great reviews – except the one I read in the café!
John Cleese has adapted and ‘welded together’ three episodes (“The Hotel Inspector”, “The Germans” and “Communication Problems”) of his classic series and even if you’ve only seen one of the original 12 episodes, you’ll know the show is manic, over the top, laugh-out-loud funny.
But, my goodness, did the reviewer have a chip on his shoulder about this mid-1970s sitcom.
He criticised the ‘dated’ attitude of one character – who is supposed to have a dated attitude – while acknowledging some of the original lines have been removed incase sensitive audience members faint in their seats.
The po-faced reviewer begrudgingly mentioned the audience around him laughed throughout, while questioning whether adapting TV sitcoms for the stage was a wise move.
The team behind the successful “Only Fools and Horses” musical” can answer that!
Is he perhaps envious he didn’t create a sitcom that TV viewers have loved for 50 years and theatre audiences are still enjoying?
To paraphrase John Lydgate –
“You can’t please some of the critics any of the time!”
And, as Manuel might say about the critic . . .
“This man. He knows nah-thing!”
See you at the Apollo Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue . . . in the cheap seats!
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Not good for the stress levels!
Supermarket shoppers across the country are all too familiar with the frustration of choosing the wrong queue.
It seems like a universal law that the line you decide to join is always the slowest to move.
To make matters worse, there is always that one customer who has picked the only product in the store with no price tag.
And don’t even get us started on the checkout operator who decides to close their lane right before it’s your turn.
The same hurdles can be found at the cashpoint, where it feels like you always end up behind the person who has decided to print out and check a monthly statement, check the balance on all four of their accounts, and print out a receipt for each transaction.
The internal debate of whether or not to switch queues is something we have all faced.
Despite knowing that as soon as you move, your original line will miraculously speed up, the temptation to switch is often too strong to resist.
And, of course, as expected, your original queue starts moving quicker than you can say “unexpected item in the bagging area”.
So, next time you find yourself stuck in a slow-moving queue, just remember that you are not alone in your supermarket struggles.
And maybe, just maybe, your next trip to the store will be the one where luck finally decides to smile upon you.
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Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy.
You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk
