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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk 

This column appears in the South Wales Evening Post, Carmarthen Journal and Llanelli Star.


Loyal readers will be aware that I have many pet hates.

I also hate many pets, like next door’s cat, which I call “Handyman” . . . because he keeps doing little jobs in my garden.

Talking of pets, people who keep snakes, lizards, killer whales etc consider themselves superior to anyone who keeps ‘run-of-the-mill’ pets like hamsters, budgies and goldfish.

In their minds, they’re ‘individualists’ who don’t follow the common herd.

Yet, strangely, every single one of themwho owns a pet python calls it Monty!

How’s that for individualism?

My Number One Pet Hate is the casual way people drop litter out of car windows, on the pavement and in parks.

Wherever I go, this country is slowly drowning under a tsunami of plastic bottles, take-away cartons and crisp packets.

As soon as their train pulls into the station, some bone idle text-addicted rail travellers leave their empty coffee cups on the bench they were sitting on for 20 minutes.

They get on the train without a backwards glance, confident ‘Someone Else’ will do what they’re too lazy to – drop the cup in the bin placed all of 10 feet away.

After the Reading Festival, 30,000 tents were left behind, along with a mountain of general rubbish – all of which will go to landfill.

That means 30,000 or more people should, under the Phil Evans Law (which is sadly not on the statute books . . . yet) be doing serious jail time for being thoughtless, lazy twerps who think it’s okay to walk away from a festival, leaving all their gear behind for ‘Someone Else’ to clear up.

That ‘Someone Else’ is the rest of society – people who’d never think of dropping litter. They’re people who feel so strongly about our streets and green parks being covered in discarded rubbish that they make the effort to pick it up and bin it.

I’m ‘Someone Else’.

Are you?


Those astute readers among you will realise that my contribution to the local press has now been going since June, 2014.

That’s a lot of column inches.

When I was approached to become a regular contributor to the well-established and respected newspapers it was a total surprise. A shock to be honest.

Up until that point, it was not something that I had even thought of adding to my repertoire!

But as you know, I love a challenge and I was fully aware that the media eats up material at a tremendous rate of knots.

The technology was also an issue: would my typewriter cope with the extra work? Are spare parts still available? Did I have enough candles in my study to work until the small hours?

I am so glad I took on the challenge.

The amazing positive feedback I get (not only from the readers in Wales, but as far afield as Ireland, Switzerland, Canada and America) makes it all worthwhile.

On my travels, I meet so many fascinating characters with interesting stories.

Without them, this space would probably contain Saturday’s lottery numbers and more adverts.

Perish the thought.

Thanks for reading and, more importantly, thanks for your support.


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

Please again include www.philevans.co.uk

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