Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk
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GRIM GRAMMAR GRUMBLES
As a quick follow-up to last week’s article about ‘Trigger Warnings,’ I understand that the people at Disney have decided that from today, before every TV showing of their classic Winnie The Pooh featurettes, there’ll be a ‘Tigger Warning’.
I suppose I should have included that little joke last week, but there’s a good reason why I didn’t.
I only thought of it last night.
I hope you appreciate I used the correct term ‘should have’ and not, as I increasingly hear and even see in print and online – ‘should of’, which is the sort of lazy use of language that sets my teeth on edge.
Not as much as they were last week when I overheard someone in the supermarket remark, “I says to him, I says, ‘Who does you think you is’?”
Why do so many people now say ‘should of’ when they wouldn’t have been taught that at school?
And they wouldn’t be saying it if they’d seen the term written in a book, magazine or newspaper, correctly spelt by someone with a knowledge of English grammar.
Well, you and I both know the answer to that.
There’s now a generation, maybe more than one, that get their views, news and opinions from social media, generated by people like them who are averse to picking up a book or newspaper.
So, it only takes one person to write, for example, “My boyfriend should of met me at six o’clock, but he was an hour late”, and their followers, and their followers’ followers will perpetuate the error.
Ah! I hear one or two of you ask, “In the grand scheme of things, is correct grammar important these days?”
I can best answer that by ending with a paragraph I’ve deliberately peppered with ‘bad grammar’.
Last week I artended a confrense of lokal bizziness peepill to disgust a bran knew skeem that ayms to cre-eight a fab’less leizure complecks that will evenchewally h’attract thousands of two wrists and boots the arias ekonomee.
If I wrote my articles that way every week, you’d all be running to the dentist with painful teeth!
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The Absurd Art of Collecting Creative Chaos: A Laughing Matter!
Let’s face it, my friends, creativity is a wild ride, a rollercoaster of ideas that often feels more like a clown car spilling out one-liners than a disciplined writing process.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been hauling around my trusty little black book.
No, it’s not a secret agent’s diary, though that would be cool.
Instead, it’s my personal vault for every fleeting thought and ridiculous observation that flits through my mind, like a butterfly on a sugar high.
You see, if I don’t jot down every spark of brilliance, those gems disappear faster than a magician’s rabbit. Poof! Gone! And trust me, I’ve had enough “oops, that was a great idea” moments to know that my little black book is a treasure chest of lost genius.
I’ve become a collector of these books, with a staggering 60 scattered throughout my house. I even keep one by my bed because, let’s be honest, the best ideas usually strike just as I’m about to fall into a drooling sleep.
But, here’s the twist, my writing speed is so fast that my notes sometimes resemble ancient hieroglyphics.
I could probably start my own archaeological dig to decipher my own thoughts!
It’s a thrilling adventure, akin to solving a mystery novel, but instead of a detective, I’m just a frazzled writer trying to remember what “chocolate unicorn” was really supposed to mean.
Yet, despite the chaos, this quirky obsession brings me immense joy.
One day, I’ll crack open these whimsical time capsules and embark on a journey through a hilarious history of my mind.
Sure, nostalgia is like that one friend who always shows up late to the party, but still knows how to make an entrance.
So, here’s to the wonderfully zany world of creativity, where every laugh, scribble, and chaotic thought is part of the show.
Keep your little black book close, embrace the madness, and prepare for a comedy of memories that will leave you chuckling (or scratching your head) for years to come!
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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk
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