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Yes, it’s a ‘No’ from me.
After lengthy deliberation (Mrs L timed it at just under 30 seconds), I will not be applying for the position of head coach with the Wales rugby team.
True, I may not be qualified for the role.
The sum total of my rugby experience (as a player, not a spectator) can be traced on the back of a beermat – sponge bag holder for Llanelli Wanderers Under-11s (unpaid) and record-breaking winger for Nantgaredig RFC in the old Llanelli and District League (the record being Least Number Of Tries Scored By A Winger In A Season – ie one!).
Having said that, the lack of a lengthy rugby career should not be a bar to achievement in the Welsh Rugby Union. Just being a fan should be enough, as WRU chief executive Abi Tierney continues to prove.
And (as Mrs L pointed out before I came to my decision) the money is good.
Departing Welsh coach Warren Gatland was reportedly on more than £600,000 a year. Not bad when you consider the average annual pay in Wales (2024 figures) is reckoned to be £34,000.
Plus, you must also factor in parachute payments should you need to leave the job after (for example) losing 14 consecutive matches in a row.
That wonderful phrase ‘departing by mutual consent’ has so much more meaning when you consider how much negotiation will be going on behind the scenes to arrive at a ‘mutually agreeable’ cash parachute to exit the job.
In my humble opinion (which still counts for something in the privacy of my own home) three things should not be ignored –
- Gatland is both the most successful coach of Wales and the least successful. His first spell in charge saw three Grand Slams and two World Cup semi-finals.
- The old saying, ‘Never go back’, remains true. Gatland should never have returned to Wales. The WRU should have looked at a fresh option.
- Gatland offered his resignation last year after leading Wales to their first Wooden Spoon in 21 years. WRU chief Abi Tierney should have accepted it.
On the streets (and in the rugby clubs and pubs around Wales), Gatland remains a talking point, but there’s a sense people are losing interest in rugby.
Here’s some examples of conversations on the streets of Llanelli this week –
“Do you want a ticket for Wales against Ireland?” “How much are they?” “£130 each.” “Nah, forget it.”
“Watch the Italy game last Saturday?” “Nah, didn’t bother.” “Went to play golf instead.”
“When’s the next home game for the Scarlets at Parc y Scarlets?” “Dunno. Think it’s the end of March, but I couldn’t tell you who we’re playing.”
The cruellest comment of the week?
One rugby wag claimed the WRU chief now has a new nickname – ‘Downturn Abi’.
Perhaps you must be a fan of TV’s Downton Abbey to get the joke.
Cruel, yes, but most of us will have to admit that Welsh rugby is now something of a laughing stock.
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WHEN the revolution starts, the first part of my grand plan will be to abolish this current trend for forming an orderly queue at pub bars.
For goodness sake, where do you think you are? The bank? The health centre? Morrisons? (As they say on the BBC: please note, other supermarkets are available!)
There’s a place for forming queues – and a pub isn’t one of those places.
Whatever happened to the time-honoured tradition of forming a scrum (or even a ruck in the most desperate of circumstances), developing razor-sharp elbows, adopting that tactical wave of a crisp tenner and trying to catch the barmaid’s eye? (Editor’s note: bit sexist here, please appreciate other genders may be employed on bar work!)
It’s a given that I am something of a dinosaur when it comes to views on how pubs should operate. Create a time warp that puts me back in the ’60s and ’70s and I’ll be quite happy.
For one thing, pubs shouldn’t have televisions. Pubs are for talking. If you want to watch sport, get off your backside and buy a ticket to visit (and support) a local team.
Mobiles phones should be banned.
Music is also out – and you can forget about games on video screens.
The only games allowed should be darts, dominoes and the occasional game of Tippit (Note: If you don’t know what Tippit it is, then you haven’t lived).
Pool tables are also a No-No on the grounds they take up too much space.
When I started work as a cub reporter in Carmarthen, one of our regular haunts was The Queens Hotel.
In those days, it boasted a (men only) public bar, a lounge and a small snug (for courting couples).
When legislation was brought in to prevent bars being labelled men only, the landlord removed the sign from the public bar . . . but left the stencilled outline of ‘Men Only’ on the faded paint.
The forthcoming ‘revolution’ will also see bans being imposed on serving cocktails in pubs. If you want a cocktail, go to a cocktail bar.
Those of us who need to quench our thirst with a pint of bitter do not want to be standing behind someone at the bar who orders “a Strawberry Daiquiri, five Espresso Martinis, an Old Fashioned and two Negronis”.
Finally, don’t get me started on people who order “Six pints of Guinness”.
It’s enough to drive you to drink!
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