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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk

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On Saturday mornings, when I wander around the millionaire’s playground of Ammanford, I visit the same places in theexactsame order every week, otherwise I feel unsettled.

Don’t laugh. We allhave our funny little ways.

You’ve just remembered what yours are, haven’t you?

First thing on Saturdays, I fill up at the petrol station – they have a wide selection of hot snacks and pastries – before shopping at the supermarket.

Then I stop at the newsagents for my newspaper, before buying cod and chips at the chippy.

Obviously, if I did these things in the wrongorder, I could end up eating fish and chips out of my newspaper while pushing a supermarket trolley.

But on May 19th, I feltreallyunsettled.

I was the only customerat the petrol station. On a Saturday!

The supermarket had so few shoppers, the unoccupied check-out girls were gossiping and yawning. That gives you some idea how exciting their gossip was.

I also felt unsettled at the usually busy chippy, because there was only one other customer and he wore a Union Jack top hat, Union Jack suit, Union Jack bow-tie and Union Jack boots.

Okay, he might have been in some weird Spice Girls ’n’ Slademash-up tribute band, but I decided not to ask and hurried home with my cod and chips.

I felt I was missing out on something important that was keeping people at home, which I found very frustrating.

But not as frustrating as the traffic on the M4 later in the day as I drove to a gig just outside Windsor.

It took me more than four hours to get there.

I don’t usually like performing at wedding do’s – but the happy couple and their families gave me a right royal reception.

As for their house? Honestly, it was like a palace . . .

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Isn’t this time of year uplifting?

It’s much easier to wake up in the morning when the sun is streaming through the window and the birds are singing.

Having said that, it’s not easy getting a good night’s sleep in a strange bed.

This week’s column comes to you from a hotel room a long way from home. Life on the road is far from glamorous.

Last night, the maid in my hotel room just turned my bed down. She’s not the first woman to do that either.

Traveling and being away from home has become a way of life, but modern technology has helped in such a way that staying in touch with family and friends is easier than ever.

I regularly Skype call my Cocker Spaniel when I’m away.

How times have changed over the past 20 years . . .

Think about it, we didn’t have all this technology back then. It was so much harder to stay in touch. Or was this a good thing? Did we talk more face to face?

Technology may be moving on, but things are far from perfect.

The traffic in our towns and cities remain a battleground and seem to be getting worse.

Swansea, Llanelli and even Ammanford have turned into a war zone recently and there are many frustrated drivers, including myself, close to breaking point.

I remember my grandad always used to say, “You’ve got to pick your battles.”

Which is why he was dishonourably discharged from the Army.

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

Please again include www.philevans.co.uk

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