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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk

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People fascinate me.

I often sit in cafes and coffee shops listening to conversations, hoping to hear a phrase or comment that’ll spark an idea for a comedy routine – or for this newspaper column.

I also do it because I’m a nosey parker!

However, while I’ll happily invest 30 minutes listening to people talk about themselves, I couldn’t watch a bunch of narcissistic, swim-suited ‘wannabes’ jabbering away at each other around a swimming pool on TV every night for weeks on end.

Which is why, despite the fact it was constantly discussed and dissected on various TV and radio shows, I didn’t watch “Love Island” (once again!).

It was one of the TV hits of the summer, even though it was tucked away on ITV2, a channel many of us skip past on our nightly search  for ‘something decent to watch’ before we eventually settle on a 15-year-old episode of “Foyle’s War”, which 10 minutes before the end we realise we saw first time around.

ITV 2 is home of such classic television programmes as “Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records” and “Jeremy Kyle Show” repeats.

I think I’ll keep skipping past it.

The media coverage of “Love Island” was phenomenal – a word I suspect many people who appeared on the show would have trouble spelling.

Now that it’s all over for another year many viewers are missing it.

Not me.

Just as I don’t understand why millions tune in  to watch people they’ve never heard of laze around inside the “Big Brother” house every night, I just don’t see the appeal of watching tanned and buffed young couples trying to get off with each other.

Yet, despite their lack of any discernible talent, apparently several contestants have potentially lucrative TV careers ahead of them.

If that’s the case, where do I fill in the form to apply for the next series?

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Cwtsh – V – Cwtch:

The Cwtsh versus Cwtch debate continues.

How do you spell Cwtsh?

Well, let me enlighten you.

It’s ‘sh’ not ‘ch’.

Trust me, I’ve done my research on this – and the evidence is conclusive.

You know how you pronounce ‘bach’ in Welsh?

Well that’s how ‘ch’ is always pronounced in Welsh.

Now try saying ‘cwtch’ . . .

I rest my case!

Over the years, I have researched and consulted with people who are considered well-versed on the subject.

I urge you to carry out your own research and then consider the source carefully.

The way I think of the word ‘cwtsh’ is quite simple.

I split it: cwt-shhh.

Like something soft and quiet.

Same as the word Welsh.

Wel-sssh.

Not Welch!

So, there you have it, it is cwtsh!

If you are still going to insist on the English spelling ‘cwtch’, you surely need to replace the w (not a vowel in English) with a U.

Also, if you spell it ‘cwtch’ you are making it English – and you can only get a cwtsh in Wales . . .

Just sayin’ . . .

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You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

Please again include www.philevans.co.uk

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