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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk


The old saying ‘There Are Lies. Damned Lies. And Statistics’ is pretty much accepted as fact by most people.

There are exceptions, like politicians confronted by TV or radio interviewers with shocking figures that reveal their department’s failings on getting to grips with whatever problems it was set up to sort out.

And I don’t suppose the old saying goes down particularly well with the Office of National Statistics in Newport, Gwent.

Having said all that, I want to present you with some statistics.


Don’t go!

I’ll try and drop a funny line in, I promise.

There’s a report out which reveals that two out of five adults check their mobile phones when they wake up.

The average Briton (Okay, that doesn’t include you because the fact you read my articles means you’re well above average) checks his/her mobile phone every 12 minutes . . . and before going to bed some 60% of over-35s check their mobiles.

Personally, before I go to bed, I brush my teeth and put the cat out.

Although there was one weird night when I brushed the cat and took my teeth out.

However, as the man says in those TV info-mercials for handy home products that we never knew we couldn’t live without . . .

“Wait! That’s not all!”

We’ve all seen families in restaurants who don’t speak to each other, but prefer to look at their phones while they wait for the food and drink to arrive.

Unfortunately, that behaviour has almost become acceptable.

But, unless you’re a doctor on call, what should be punishable by a 20-year stretch in Wormwood Scrubs is the unforgivable crime of making or taking a phone call or checking for messages while everyone is still eating.

While 90% of over-55s would agree with me, only 46% of 18-34s would.

In a generation or two, the words ‘Table Manners’ will be consigned to the dustbin of history . . . along with “Penny Farthing”, “Bowler Hat” and “Severn Bridge Tolls!”


So, as my regular readers will know, I’m always up for a challenge – and last week was no different!

After a few months of gentle persuasion, I finally gave in and accompanied my partner to her weekly yoga class.

Having appeared on the landing of our home in my leg warmers, sweat band and Lycra shouting “Ta-dah”, I was immediately sent to change into something more suitable.

Now, then, I was quite sceptical, but thought I must try this at least once before I can say it’s not for me.

I have to say I was more than pleasantly surprised.

The hour flew by.

I attempted to get into some very challenging positions but thoroughly enjoyed the experience and was so relaxed by the end of the class that I almost fell asleep at the relaxation part at the end!

Yogi Dai, from Yoga FlowWales, was a superb and very patient teacher and I can safely say that, if you want to unwind and relax, yoga is the way forward.

I’m now wondering how I can incorporate stand-up comedy and yoga in one, which I’m sure you’ll agree would make for a very interesting night out.

Namaste for this week, my friends.


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

Please again include www.philevans.co.uk

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