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The latest Phil Evans column

Phil Evans

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The latest Phil Evans column

Posted By Robert Lloyd

Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. This column appears in the South Wales Evening Post, Carmarthen Journal and Llanelli Star. Website – www.philevans.co.uk


I was bemused when I first read that, due to complaints from feminists, Kleenex were going to rename their long-established ‘Man Size’ tissues as ‘Extra Large’.

Here we go again, I thought.

But didn’t comment on it.

Then I realised how expensive it would be for Kleenex to ditch all the already-printed boxes in their warehouses, recall the ones they’d already sent out to the shops and replace them with the newly-branded ones.

Hopefully, the unwanted boxes will be recycled and not thrown away.

However, the feminists who demanded the change couldn’t be sure of that, which makes me wonder if they always put their issues about equality above environmental concerns.

Either that, or they don’t really think it through whenever they ‘demand’ changes.

A few days later my bemusement turned to annoyance when I read that because Waitrose were selling a ‘Gentleman’s Smoked Chicken Caesar Roll’ it was described as ‘outrageous’ by a lady comedian whose name I’m not familiar with (and, as I’ll not mention it here, neither will you).

On social media, she said: “I didn’t know sandwiches were gender specific. I’m female but, thankfully, Waitrose let me purchase one anyway!”

As she and anybody else of any gender were able to buy the roll, I don’t see why she was so outraged.

Okay, she may have said that as a joke. But because her complaint started a Twitter storm, Waitrose has apologised and will change the name of the roll!

They said: “We never intended to cause offence!”

Well, of course they didn’t, but that didn’t stop various attention-seekers, with too much time on their hands, deciding to take offence despite the fact it’s called the ‘Gentleman’s Smoked Chicken Caesar Roll’ because it contains anchovy mayonnaise similar to ‘Gentleman’s relish’, which has been around a long, long time – long before feminists could moan about it on social media, which was, I believe, invented by a man.

Next time they have ‘Ladies Day’ at Royal Ascot, I’m going to complain.

Anyone want to join me?


Remembrance Sunday:

While writing this week’s column, I felt a strong urge to mention Remembrance Sunday, an event that has meaning for so many and is held in the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth as a day to commemorate the contribution of British and Commonwealth military and civilian servicemen and women in the two World Wars and other conflicts. 

I have only recently discovered the significance of the poppy, which to my surprise was inspired by the World War One poem ‘In Flanders Fields’.

I read that the opening lines refer to the many poppies that were the first flowers to grow in the churned-up earth of soldiers’ graves in Flanders, a region of Europe that overlies a part of Belgium.

This is truly a day to remember and one we should never forget.

So many have contributed and paid the ultimate price so that we have choice and freedom of speech, enabling me to share my views openly (subject to the Editor’s approval, of course!).


You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and www.philevans.co.uk

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